


It Aches to Fall (In Love)

by saintofnovember



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Other, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24748420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintofnovember/pseuds/saintofnovember
Summary: It hurts to fall, but it hurts to fallin lovemore. Aziraphale and Crowley pre Crowley's fall inspired by Billie Eilish's "i love you".
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 17





	It Aches to Fall (In Love)

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to "i love you" by Billie Eilish and I thought,,, hey!! I can make this into a sad fic,,, let's do it!! 
> 
> I've been meaning to make something about Crowley pre-fall for ages; it's such a heartbreaking concept to me. I think anything it's torturous because we know how the happiness has to end. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_ The warm afternoon sun shines on a beautiful walled garden just on the edge of Heaven. Vines, dark and verdant, trail their way across old stone walls. Great trees stretch their shadows across the soft, tall grass, leaves swaying gently in the cool breeze. Bees hum gently around delicate flowers, drunk on sweet nectar.  _

_ Two angels lie in the sun, one copper haired, one fair, curled around each other. One head lies in the other’s lap- great shuddering sobs wrack this angel’s form, and their hair pools like blood across the ivory cloth they wear. The other strokes their back soothingly, whispering softly in their ear. _

_ The red-haired angel quiets for a moment, and then sits up, facing the other. For a moment, they cannot speak, then they heave out the words which seem to burn as they tumble out of their mouth. _

_ The other goes very still. _

_ There is silence but for the humming of the industrious little bees. Then, all at once, the blonde angel speaks, his voice trembling. _

**It’s not true**

**Tell me I’ve been lied to**

**Crying isn’t like you**

_ The other shakes his head, wiping the tears from his face. They look contemptuously up to the sky, and begin to speak in a tremulous voice. _

**What the hell did I do?**

**Never been the type to**

**Let someone see right through**

_ Now the fair haired angel looks away and begins to cry, crystal tears sliding down their face to gather at their chin. The drops tremble for a moment- then fall to the hands that rest in the angel’s lap. The other doesn’t see, but gazes out over the garden and winds a blade of grass tightly around their finger.  _

**Maybe we should just try**

**To tell ourselves a good lie**

_ They look back, the slight smile on their face falling at the sight of the other’s tears. Auburn hair falling in a waterfall behind them, they surge forward to embrace the other, then pull back to cup their face.  _

**I didn’t mean to make you cry.**

_ Tugging away those cupping their face, the fair haired angel brings his hands to wring the others’ beseechingly- _

**Maybe won’t you take it back**

**Say you were trying to make me laugh**

**And nothing has to change today**

**You didn’t mean to say-**

_ The other won’t let them finish- _

**I love you**

_ The whole garden seems to hold its breath. Snails pause in their munching, birds cease to sing, and the angels stare at each other, eyes wet, breathing hard.  _

**I love you**

_ The garden breathes; the angel looks away, their sentiment hanging in the air. Their gaze rests on a spray of baby-blue lilac flowers. Their eyes fill with tears- _

**And I don’t want to**

_ They give a mournful, watery smile, but it wobbles painfully, and the other draws them into a fierce embrace. _

_ The angels hold each other, in that eternal garden, as the sun sinks lower in the sky. They are quiet; there is nothing they can do or say that will assuage the hurt that they must endure, soon. _

_ Perhaps it would hurt them less not to love at all, but what is life but a double-edged sword? No matter the rules, a life without love is a tragedy found beyond sin. _

_ The angels will meet again one day, in a garden. One will be darker, harder, and will not remember that they ever held a love such as this one. One will be sadder, but bright, and will remember each detail of this love so well it aches.  _

_ They will dance around one another for far longer this time, careful, now. They have experience with falling, and they know it’s not the fall that hurts the most. _

_ The angels will find themselves again, one day, in a garden. They will walk, arm in arm, relishing in the fresh air and the luscious green of the grass, no walls to surround them. They will talk of everything and nothing, of beginnings and endings, and of a love so strong it burns at the edges. The world will be there, as it always is, and so will they. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments and kudos feed my little goblin writer soul~
> 
> You can find me here on tumblr and here on instagram.
> 
> Stay safe out there everybody. :)


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